The Goodreads Relationship Compatibility Test

I read. A lot. My wife reads. A lot. We are a reading family. My wife has been using Goodreads for quite some time and I’m a relatively new user. One of the first things I did when I signed up was to go through and start rating books that I had read. Recently I logged onto Goodreads and looked at my wife’s profile. I noticed a “compare books” link so I clicked on it. That allowed me to see the books that my wife and I have both read, want to read, or have rated.

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The results were fascinating to me. My wife reads a lot more Young Adult Fiction and I read a lot more history and theology. But when we read the same books we have remarkably similar taste. So, realizing that correlation always equals causation, I determined that the success of our relationship is assuredly due to our similar taste in books. Thus, I have developed the Goodreads Relationship Compatibility Test (GRCT). The test is primarily for romantic relationships but I suppose it could be used to determine whether or not your bestest friend forever and ever (and ever) is really your BFFEE or will viciously run you over on their bicycle with a hipster basket on it. This test is based on many arduous minutes of looking at charts, graphs, professional research, and various internet memes.

So without further adieu, I present the GRCT. Use it at your own risk and watch your relationships either blossom like the pedals of a flower on a warm spring morning or blossom like a fiery mushroom cloud after a nuclear explosion (I just read a book about nuclear disasters so mushroom clouds are on my mind. Seriously. Check my Goodreads.)

If your tastes are…

0-20% Similar- This person will stalk you through a creepy amusement park with clowns and ominous carousel music. Run far, far away.

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21-40% Similar- This might start off okay as long as you keep your deep, dark differences far from the light of day. However, once they are revealed you will likely find yourself stranded in the country being dive bombed by a biplane. Best to not even try.

41-60% Similar- Things look good. Really good! Until the third or fourth date. Then you find out that one of you is hardcore Marvel and the other hardcore DC. Or maybe you find out that while you preferred Frank Hardy the other person preferred Joe (or -GASP- Aunt Gertrude). Perhaps most horrific would be to find that one prefers werewolves and the other vampires. If you lean close to 60%, a fifth date might be in order. Just make sure you pack a wooden stake. If you lean close to 41%, take your Hardy Boys books and go stay with your rotund buddy, Chet Morton. Otherwise, you might end up locked in a wine cellar with bottles of a fine vintage of uranium.

61-80% Similar- Are those wedding bells I hear? Of the books you’ve read you have similar tastes the majority of the time! That means dinner table conversations will be full of joyful banter as you discuss the newest systematic theology book. It means that together you can sneer at the TwiHards with their “Team Edward” and “Team Jacob” shirts when you show up at the premier of the next Hunger Games movie wearing a burning dress and toting loaves of bread. It means that bliss is within reach but you have to be especially careful because now the differences become more glaring. Now when one of you loves a book but the other despises it you will have to learn to work though it or else you might find yourself sleeping on the couch or in a creepy hotel on a rainy night chatting with some dude named Norman about his mommy.

81-100% Similar- You are probably already married. Your friends and family are disgusted by how perfect a couple you are. You make people want to vomit when you start talking about how ideal you are for each other and how you never disagree about anything and how you read physics books aloud to each other before bed because you both are so passionate about quarks and string theory and multiverses. Beware, however, the 100%-ers. Yes, those people who match perfectly. These are one the ones that are the most dangerous. They probably share a Facebook profile and have a tandem toilet. This is a recipe for disaster. All it takes is one wrong rating on even the most trivial of books to cause a tear in the fabric of space time and a crushing of the hopes and dreams represented by the tandem toilet. If this happens, you will likely find yourself sad and alone and will spend your days in an apartment spying on the neighbors with the telephoto zoom lens on your camera.

So there you have it. How do you rate with your significant other or BFFEE?

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10 thoughts on “The Goodreads Relationship Compatibility Test

  1. This is hilarious. My husband and I chart in at 83 percent. Two books have made us nearly explode at each other: my love of The Monsters of Templeton and his appreciation for How I Became a Famous Novelist. These books made us pause, look at each other, and say, “Do I even KNOW you?”

    Kidding. Sort of.

    Bravo on this!

    1. So true! My wife and I are very similar but every once in awhile we have a significant disagreement about a book. Those are usually pretty interesting discussions.

  2. I think this is fun,
    but my husband and I have 0 compatibility in books- I read a ton, and I tease him that he has read only 4 books in the 12 years we have been married

  3. That’s silly. I understand the taste in books might be the same in many relationships, but to believe that 20% means you have nothing in common and that you should run away… is really not based on anything else than the poor judgement of a really books-obsessed man. Anyway, I daresay (and hope) this article wasn’t meant to be taken for granted. I don’t see why not having many in common would decrease the chances of a relationship. After all, we’re not that narcissistic, are we?

  4. Oh…I think my husband I has 0% compatibility when it comes to books as he really doesn’t read like I do. He only read his emails and those lengthy business proposals. LOL!

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