This has been a brutal semester. It has been one of those periods of time where if feels like you’ve been punched in the gut and every time you try to get to your feet something slaps you right back to the ground. Between the intensely personal and heartbreaking news my wife and I got early in the year, to the feelings of inadequacy with Hebrew, to the flooded apartment and mid-semester move, to this most recent crack in one of the pillars of my life. I have literally felt attacked from all sides this semester. I have felt like a small boat on stormy seas where the waves just keep coming and you can’t even get past one before the next one crashes over and tries to swamp the boat.
The most recent series of events has left me feeling emotionally and mentally drained. This is a bad thing because this semester is coming to an end and I have tests to study for and papers to write but I find myself unable to muster the intellectual will to put together much in the way of a coherent thought.
Still, even in the bleakness of this storm I have hope. Thankfully, even when the pillars crack, the foundation remains strong. In the midst of these storms I have seen more and more how important it is that I see beyond the storm to the one who controls it. This storm has forced me to take a long, hard look at many aspects of my faith and theology and test their seaworthiness. Needless to say, God has been faithful. I am grateful that I do not serve a distant God who leaves me to weather the storms alone or who created the waves and then left them alone to try and swamp my boat. No, I serve a God who both guides the boat and who created and controls the waves. Nothing surprises Him. That is why, even when Satan attempts to destroy me and my ministry before it ever begins, I have hope because the God I serve is bigger than anything life or the devil can throw at Him.